Show me your id

print1, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

(This may be a little corny, but it is late and i know you've had this thought too..) Ever since i was a child i've been frustrated by the fact that God doesn't appear to me when i am praying. I hate praying to an empty room or the glowing orb i conjure up in my mind's eye. Tonight i had a revelation. As i sat praying (nearly beginning a tantrum that sounded something like, why won't you let me see you?? How the heck do i hold conversation with an empty room?) i wondered what would happen if God actually showed up.

As a child, i always imagined that i would melt under the tungsten light of his glory and that is why he did not reveal himself. Tonight i had a sudden thought: what if a strange looking, rugged 30ish man jsuddenly appeared in my room? What if he is ugly? Or worse, what if he is really hot? As with any man in my room, how would i abstain from dealing with deep-seeded sexual issues? So, i thought (bare with me), what if he showed up as a woman? Again, there would be deep issues, just as i face with every woman i encounter. Well, what if he showed up as my Dad? This really freaked me out as i realized the games i have learned to play with every manner of human I have ever known. I realized that to really trust God, i must know him as genderless, formless, representative of no earthly image. He is the pillar of cloud that led the Israelites, the flaming bush that directed moses, the wind that hoovered over the waters of the earth when it was formless and void.

I ask myself, how do i know my God? This i know: his fingerprints as i find them touching every area of my life. I know him, because i have learned to identify his activity by looking at history and by being observant of my own life. He gives me everything i need to know him and to trust him, protecting me from my own ill thought-out wishes.

Sky City

skycity, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Dan, Kathy, Liz and I drove out to Sky City, the oldest continuously inhabited city in America. The city rests high up on a mesa with an incredible view of the New Mexico desert. Our guide told us many marvelous tales full of Native pride and preservation.

Church

sky-church, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

family portrait

fam, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Dan, Kathy and I posed for this photo on top of sky city. I discovered that Mom and Dad also came to Sky City when Dan was living in NM. Everything felt very ancestrial up there.

town

town, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

It's a long way down for a flusher.

steps

steps, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Thanks to Hollywood, a paved road now winds up to the top of the Mesa, but we decided to take the path the Natives have taken for hundreds of years. Steep - YES. Scary - A little. But finger holes are carved into the rock to help keep you steady. Ingenious!

fears

fears, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

have i ever mentioned my fear of heights.. or rather fear of jumping? Joel, buddy, i know you share it with me. who else will admit it??

beautiful people

beautiful, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

and a beautiful view!

Liz

liz, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Liz was a good sport enduring all my camera antics.

okinawa dancers

okinawadancers, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

We arrived in Albequerque in time for the Japanese festival. It was a gorgeous afternoon full of martial arts demonstrations, great food, mochi ice cream (!) and these fabulous dancers from Okinawa. It was all very entertaining.

squid

squid, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Liz, Kathy and I feated on sushi and (my favorite) Squid! yummy!

Favorite things.

childhood, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

These are a few of my favorite things. This little girl is wearing the exact same kimono that i wore as a child. The belt is mine as well! Everything in this picture is a crystal clear memory of childhood. The water-balloons, the oregami, the snow cones!! ahhh... fond memories.

obasan

obasan, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Some things don't change... i hope they never do.

Birding

birdlady, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Liz took Kathy and I to the nature center in Albequerque. Liz is a birder and introduced us to her birding friends. When we visited, they were catching birds in the center to study how the local birds are doing.

Bird tagging

bird1, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Tiny tags are put around the birds legs so that the birders will know the bird is on the record and see how well he's been doing. They are so tiny! I think this bird weighs less than a dime.

bird2, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Freedom

birdsis, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

dragonfly

dragonfly, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Reminded me of catching dragonflies by the lake in japan. Do dragonflies bite?

Pilgrimage

churches, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

I almost felt as though i were taking a pilgrimage as Kathy and I drove to Santa Fe. We stopped at numberous adobe churches with rich and complex histories.

Santa Fe

candles, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

Santa Fe hosts the oldest wooden madonna in the US.

Serenity

sis, originally uploaded by staarkidd.

No church compares to the outdoors for my big sis!